BLEED IN BLEED OUT

Sun 13 Sep
When the word INBLEED pops up on our screens as a call type it inevitably means the next hour of life is gonna be either messy and stupid or boring and stupid. This is because INBLEED is the kind of call you become when you tell 911 you’re bleeding out yer... more

STAND UP SIT DOWN LIE DOWN DIE

Wed 9 Sep
 
The next night, after lots of ridiculous little jobs (“my elbow hurts” and “I can’t find my psych meds!”) I was workin with newguy and we walk into a fancy Spanish Harlem apartment to find a little old guy, surrounded by gawking firemen, about to die. Dude was pale as shit, gasping for... more

KER-SPLAT

Sun 6 Sep
I was laughing cuz my partner was moody and not in the mood for trauma, but we had a student, and it was Sunday night in Harlem, so even without riding all over town trying to pick it up, the shit was flying our way. We’d already done a pretty low key shooting, no kinda clusterfuck just a... more

THE MISSING BULLET

Sun 30 Aug
 
But first:ME: What’s the trouble today young lady?PT: I’m bleeding…from my vagina.ME: Um…this has happened before ever?PT: Yes! A month ago actually!…True story.ANYWAY:PD started getting excited on their radios cuz a car accident came over and it was right at their favorite bar. Then a... more

CLUSTERFUCK 1

Wed 10 Jun
 
MAKE MY FUNK THE…Last Saturday:This dude was 60 and totally out- speaking garbly gook like he might have a head bleed but the also kinda had that o.d. look to him. Or maybe his sugar dropped. The thing is, for a medic, the most useful skill we have is our ability to get the story. The best ones... more

A Dream, A Drunk, and A Few Things You Do When You Die

Wed 1 Apr
 
Before I begin- before I forget, lemme let out something I been meaning to mention since i started this blog: if you and me are walking down the street one day and- god forbid- some nice little old lady gets steamrolled by a mack truck, or some dude decides to check out off a building ledge or any... more

5 Flights or Patriarchal Dumbassery Claims Another Victim

Wed 1 Apr
 
A five story walk-up on the Grand Concourse. Why do folks who need to be carried always live on the fifth floor or higher with no elevator? The patient’s wife opens the door and she looks like she’s not sure whether to be irritated or worried. (Strange to have our own expressions mirrored back... more

EMS WTF FAQ

Wed 1 Apr
 
Okay people- I realize as I’m scratching out all these stories that a lot of folks don’t have much idea what the this whole EMS thing is all about. So here’s a primer for those that’re interested.Q: What the hell is EMS anyway?A: EMS is the Emergency Medical Services. That’s the whole... more

THE BABALU AYE SPECIAL EDITION: 2 BACK FROM THE DEAD STORIES (sorta)

Wed 1 Apr
 
Well: I was really planning on the next piece i wrote being about all the mundane bullshit we do, which is like 90% of the job, especially cuz now i got fricken jud and saraivy telling me how i’m just trying to show off on facebook with all the gory shit we do…BUT, f them- cuz this week was... more

The Ungrateful Suicide

Wed 1 Apr
 
Saturday Night. Gentrification has created these weird pockets of extreme wealth in that ambiguous part of town where Bed-Stuy and Prospect Heights overlap. Me and C wind our way through the corridors of some converted warehouse. It’s dim and dank and smells funny until we step suddenly into an... more